“If we don’t put all the larger stones in the jar first, we will never be able to fit all of them later.” What are the large stones in your life? And once you identify them, be sure to put them first in your “jar of life” *identifying my large stones*
Status | Satridia Juliandini | 30 Jul 2010 14:52
Menggugat Cerita Malin Kundang
Blog | Kardy Chiu | 30 Jul 2010 01:40
Entah kenapa rasanya eneg melihat cerita ini sekarang. Termasuk di dalamnya cerita2 durhaka lah dikutuk keq dan teman2-nya. Mungkin perlu ditanya Malin kamu makan apa dari kecil? Naif sekali kalau rasa2nya kamu hanya silau karena harta dan wanita. Dan kalau (dalam hal ini) Tuhan membabi buta mengabulkan kutukan sang Ibu, mungkin surgaNya yang diletakkan di bawah kaki sang Ibu bukan tempat yang patut dijadikan tujuan akhir.
Mungkinkah Malin tahu kalau ibunya tidak akan setuju semisal dia menikah dengan wanita yang bukan keturunanCina Minang? Daripada istrinya dicaci maki karena masalah fisik yah lebih baik tidak bertemu?
Mungkin Malin ingin bebas dari jeratan sang Ibu. Mungkin sedari kecil hidup Malin selalu didikte, dia harus begini lah, nilainya kurang bagus-lah, tidak seperti anak tetangga yang ikut Olimpiade Fisika, Matematika-lah, dll. Mungkin bagi Malin di mata ibunya dia bukan dirinya sendiri, terlebih dia tidak menghargai dirinya sendiri karena pandangan sang Ibu.
Sang Ibu biasanya berkata: "Aaah ini kan contoh2 yang baik... apa salahnya saya menginginkan anak saya menjadi baik dan lebih baik?"
Tapi bagi Malin sang Ibu adalah manusia yang luar biasa rakus. Setiap kali dia membawa pulang hasil selalu dibandingkan dengan si "itu" dan "ini" yang punya hasil lebih baik. Terlebih dia harus menjaga semangat dan hatinya dari kata2 sang Ibu: "Koq jelek sih? Koq kamu tidak bisa seperti si itu?" atau "Masa hasil kamu hanya segini?" atau "Ga pernah ada loh di keluarga kita yang sejelek kamu". Sang Ibu tidak tahu, tapi bagi Malin kata2 itu sakit, sekuat apapun dia membentengi dirinya sendiri.
Mungkin Malin punya mimpi yang diremehkan sang Ibu, karena mimpinya tidak cukup baik seperti standar sang Ibu. Sang Ibu berkata: "Aduh kalau kamu jadi seperti itu, mau makan apa, lebih baik kamu jadi seperti ini."
Dan Malin bertanya2 robotkah saya? Kemana mimpi2 masa kecilnya, ketika semua orang mengatakan bahwa Malin bisa menjadi apapun yang dia inginkan? Apakah semua ini bohong? Dan kalaupun benar bohong, ini adalah kebohongan yang paling keji.
Mungkin Malin menemukan penghargaan dirinya di depan istrinya. Mungkin kali ini dia menemukan kehidupan dan martabat yang lebih baik dimana dia bisa jauh dari sang Ibu, dan mulai menyusun kehidupannya sendiri.
Kehidupan barunya jelas masih rapuh, dan dia hanya takut ibunya akan datang dan menginjak2 semuanya hingga remuk.
Sang Ibu memang berniat baik, dia ingin anaknya menikah dengan wanita baik2, punya pendidikan yang baik, dan berakhir di karir yang baik. Tapi apakah semua niatan baik itu berakhir baik pula?
Namun siapakah yang bisa menjawab pertanyaan2 ini? Onggokan batu di pantai Air Manis pasti akan diam, ombak, karang dan rerumputan pun pasti akan diam seperti lagu Ebiet.
Cerita Malin Kundang terus beredar, propaganda serupa pun terus disuarakan melalui film, sinetron, cerita, dll. Anak yang memasukkan orang tuanya ke panti jompo di-ilustrasikan sebagai anak yang keji.
Tapi gugatan ini kusimpan dan akan kutanyakan kepada Tuhan.
Mungkinkah Malin tahu kalau ibunya tidak akan setuju semisal dia menikah dengan wanita yang bukan keturunan
Mungkin Malin ingin bebas dari jeratan sang Ibu. Mungkin sedari kecil hidup Malin selalu didikte, dia harus begini lah, nilainya kurang bagus-lah, tidak seperti anak tetangga yang ikut Olimpiade Fisika, Matematika-lah, dll. Mungkin bagi Malin di mata ibunya dia bukan dirinya sendiri, terlebih dia tidak menghargai dirinya sendiri karena pandangan sang Ibu.
Sang Ibu biasanya berkata: "Aaah ini kan contoh2 yang baik... apa salahnya saya menginginkan anak saya menjadi baik dan lebih baik?"
Tapi bagi Malin sang Ibu adalah manusia yang luar biasa rakus. Setiap kali dia membawa pulang hasil selalu dibandingkan dengan si "itu" dan "ini" yang punya hasil lebih baik. Terlebih dia harus menjaga semangat dan hatinya dari kata2 sang Ibu: "Koq jelek sih? Koq kamu tidak bisa seperti si itu?" atau "Masa hasil kamu hanya segini?" atau "Ga pernah ada loh di keluarga kita yang sejelek kamu". Sang Ibu tidak tahu, tapi bagi Malin kata2 itu sakit, sekuat apapun dia membentengi dirinya sendiri.
Mungkin Malin punya mimpi yang diremehkan sang Ibu, karena mimpinya tidak cukup baik seperti standar sang Ibu. Sang Ibu berkata: "Aduh kalau kamu jadi seperti itu, mau makan apa, lebih baik kamu jadi seperti ini."
Dan Malin bertanya2 robotkah saya? Kemana mimpi2 masa kecilnya, ketika semua orang mengatakan bahwa Malin bisa menjadi apapun yang dia inginkan? Apakah semua ini bohong? Dan kalaupun benar bohong, ini adalah kebohongan yang paling keji.
Mungkin Malin menemukan penghargaan dirinya di depan istrinya. Mungkin kali ini dia menemukan kehidupan dan martabat yang lebih baik dimana dia bisa jauh dari sang Ibu, dan mulai menyusun kehidupannya sendiri.
Kehidupan barunya jelas masih rapuh, dan dia hanya takut ibunya akan datang dan menginjak2 semuanya hingga remuk.
Sang Ibu memang berniat baik, dia ingin anaknya menikah dengan wanita baik2, punya pendidikan yang baik, dan berakhir di karir yang baik. Tapi apakah semua niatan baik itu berakhir baik pula?
Namun siapakah yang bisa menjawab pertanyaan2 ini? Onggokan batu di pantai Air Manis pasti akan diam, ombak, karang dan rerumputan pun pasti akan diam seperti lagu Ebiet.
Cerita Malin Kundang terus beredar, propaganda serupa pun terus disuarakan melalui film, sinetron, cerita, dll. Anak yang memasukkan orang tuanya ke panti jompo di-ilustrasikan sebagai anak yang keji.
Tapi gugatan ini kusimpan dan akan kutanyakan kepada Tuhan.
bersyukur & berserah diri pada Allaah untuk manis & pahit yang dianugerahkan selama (setidaknya) 8 bulan ini. The sweet is never as sweet without the sour
Status | Byaryoga Mahagala | 29 Jul 2010 22:16
Selama seluruh pusat (ekonomi, pendidikan, politik, sosial budaya dll) numpuk di Jakarta, kemacetan akan terus menggurita, secanggih apapun cara mengatasinya
Status | Ahmad Fikri Adriansyah | 29 Jul 2010 22:05
Beli kursi roda bekas di Sidoarjo/ Surabaya di mana ya? Ada info?
Status | Abdul Halim | 29 Jul 2010 21:36
Nyobain Sushi Kim. Enak. Nasi enak, wasabi nonjok, soyu enak, salmon tebel (ga gitu fresh tapi). Sayangnya masnya nerima duit & ngasi kembalian masih sambil pake sarung tangan plastik, dan langsung balik lagi ngirisin salmon. Ilfeel dah
Status | Basilius Prabawa Brodjonegoro | 29 Jul 2010 21:18
Comfort Room Etiquette FLUSH. Don’t leave evidence behind PLEASE AIM PROPERLY. Don’t urinate on the floor or seat DON’T TAKE TOO LONG. The person behind you in line has to go too. bla..bla..bla.. Thank you for your cooperation
Status | Teddy Setiawan | 29 Jul 2010 20:48
watching performance of Paul McCartney at the White House… Ah “yesterday”, “Hey, Jude”, “Let it be”…
Status | Soleh Udin Al Ayubi | 29 Jul 2010 19:31
i miss the smells of pure nature..i miss the touch of wind..i miss the sing of the water in the rivers..I MISS THE ADVENTURE!!..
Status | Rahmat Hidayat | 29 Jul 2010 16:17
Evangelion for the current generation
Blog | Kardy Chiu | 29 Jul 2010 01:10
OMG I have to admit that I'm part otaku (<-- still in denial mode)! Kudos for Blitz to bring Evangelion 2.0 to Jakarta big screen, I had watched it, but still predictably the movie was sugoi in big screen with boom boom sound system.
Am I otaku? Sigh... let's just say I have in depth knowledge in some anime, manga (and hentai) story particularly the ones with gore, violence, mystic and mecha themes, and consequently I really say no no to the ones with moe moe theme (including moe-hentai..yuks!). Up until now I can communicate and joke well to fellow otaku, although I do not share common interest in geeky look. And I always think gothic-loli as very cool, kawai and sexy! My favorite in every cozplay (step aside all you Clouds, Yunas, Sakuras, etc)!
Until now, for some time I find it is difficult to communicate to generation after me about how amazing Evangelion is. I mean the series is AMAZING, almost on par with legendary Doraemon. I still remembered when I was young (junior high) how the series messed up with my notion about Angels (Angels are bad..bad..bad), and also the series left me desperate with such an unclear ending (the original Evangelion). And then came The End of Evangelion when I was in early years of high school. Still remember the original disc came in mini disc since it contains only two episodes.
The original series comes with amazing music composition (Cruel Angel's Thesis and Komm Susser Todd), and I like how they play with Judaism theme (only Japan can do this!). On top of it is the story which is strongly interwoven, unusual, but personally I can relate to it. For me the story is about loneliness. How it is extremely difficult to find someone that understand one completely. How we all want to be loved and had some attention. But every time we open ourselves or try to show affection to others we end up being hurt. Strange story for a mecha anime. But very true indeed.
When I watched Evangelion 2.0, I felt the gloomy atmosphere was slightly lifted. I was shocked and delighted at the same time watching Shinji smiled when he met his two friends. It seems suddenly Evangelion turned out to be more cheerful, and relationship is clearly pictured.
Musically, I love how the producer choosed to leave out the past and forge a new legend. "Today is the Time for Goodbye" and "Give Me Wings" will clearly be this generation' favorite.
Otaku-ally, what the hell happened with Kaworu Nagisa? He seems to know Shinji (from Evangelion 1.0) And the red stripe on the moon (Rei' blood from The End of Evangelion)? And the red sea (the original Evangelion' sea color is blue)? And two S2 engines on Unit 01? Does it mean no more Unit 00? And two more Angels? Arrgh they've skipped my favorite: Iruel. I just like it when they show the true nature of the MAGI. Next I just hope I can see Arael (but Kaworu has the Lance of Longinus...aaarggh).
One last thing, strange... but I feel this NERV side-character-with-glasses guy is cute **blushing** (perhaps because now they shot it in HD hahaha...). I took some liberty of Japanese manga freedom, you can go shounen-ai, you can go shoujo-ai but it is still normal =P. But hey...for me he is more "interesting" than most people' favorite: Ryoji Kaji =).
Am I otaku? Sigh... let's just say I have in depth knowledge in some anime, manga (and hentai) story particularly the ones with gore, violence, mystic and mecha themes, and consequently I really say no no to the ones with moe moe theme (including moe-hentai..yuks!). Up until now I can communicate and joke well to fellow otaku, although I do not share common interest in geeky look. And I always think gothic-loli as very cool, kawai and sexy! My favorite in every cozplay (step aside all you Clouds, Yunas, Sakuras, etc)!
Until now, for some time I find it is difficult to communicate to generation after me about how amazing Evangelion is. I mean the series is AMAZING, almost on par with legendary Doraemon. I still remembered when I was young (junior high) how the series messed up with my notion about Angels (Angels are bad..bad..bad), and also the series left me desperate with such an unclear ending (the original Evangelion). And then came The End of Evangelion when I was in early years of high school. Still remember the original disc came in mini disc since it contains only two episodes.
The original series comes with amazing music composition (Cruel Angel's Thesis and Komm Susser Todd), and I like how they play with Judaism theme (only Japan can do this!). On top of it is the story which is strongly interwoven, unusual, but personally I can relate to it. For me the story is about loneliness. How it is extremely difficult to find someone that understand one completely. How we all want to be loved and had some attention. But every time we open ourselves or try to show affection to others we end up being hurt. Strange story for a mecha anime. But very true indeed.
When I watched Evangelion 2.0, I felt the gloomy atmosphere was slightly lifted. I was shocked and delighted at the same time watching Shinji smiled when he met his two friends. It seems suddenly Evangelion turned out to be more cheerful, and relationship is clearly pictured.
Musically, I love how the producer choosed to leave out the past and forge a new legend. "Today is the Time for Goodbye" and "Give Me Wings" will clearly be this generation' favorite.
Otaku-ally, what the hell happened with Kaworu Nagisa? He seems to know Shinji (from Evangelion 1.0) And the red stripe on the moon (Rei' blood from The End of Evangelion)? And the red sea (the original Evangelion' sea color is blue)? And two S2 engines on Unit 01? Does it mean no more Unit 00? And two more Angels? Arrgh they've skipped my favorite: Iruel. I just like it when they show the true nature of the MAGI. Next I just hope I can see Arael (but Kaworu has the Lance of Longinus...aaarggh).
One last thing, strange... but I feel this NERV side-character-with-glasses guy is cute **blushing** (perhaps because now they shot it in HD hahaha...). I took some liberty of Japanese manga freedom, you can go shounen-ai, you can go shoujo-ai but it is still normal =P. But hey...for me he is more "interesting" than most people' favorite: Ryoji Kaji =).
Evangelion for the current generation
Blog | Kardy Chiu | 29 Jul 2010 01:10
OMG I have to admit that I'm part otaku (<-- still in denial mode)! Kudos for Blitz to bring Evangelion 2.0 to Jakarta big screen, I had watched it, but still predictably the movie was sugoi in big screen with boom boom sound system.
Am I otaku? Sigh... let's just say I have in depth knowledge in some anime, manga (and hentai) story particularly the ones with gore, violence, mystic and mecha themes, and consequently I really say no no to the ones with moe moe theme (including moe-hentai..yuks!). Up until now I can communicate and joke well to fellow otaku, although I do not share common interest in geeky look. And I always think gothic-loli as very cool, kawai and sexy! My favorite in every cozplay (step aside all you Clouds, Yunas, Sakuras, etc)!
Until now, for some time I find it is difficult to communicate to generation after me about how amazing Evangelion is. I mean the series is AMAZING, almost on par with legendary Doraemon. I still remembered when I was young (junior high) how the series messed up with my notion about Angels (Angels are bad..bad..bad), and also the series left me desperate with such an unclear ending (the original Evangelion). And then came The End of Evangelion when I was in early years of high school. Still remember the original disc came in mini disc since it contains only two episodes.
The original series comes with amazing music composition (Cruel Angel's Thesis and Komm Susser Todd), and I like how they play with Judaism theme (only Japan can do this!). On top of it is the story which is strongly interwoven, unusual, but personally I can relate to it. For me the story is about loneliness. How it is extremely difficult to find someone that understand one completely. How we all want to be loved and had some attention. But every time we open ourselves or try to show affection to others we end up being hurt. Strange story for a mecha anime. But very true indeed.
When I watched Evangelion 2.0, I felt the gloomy atmosphere was slightly lifted. I was shocked and delighted at the same time watching Shinji smiled when he met his two friends. It seems suddenly Evangelion turned out to be more cheerful, and relationship is clearly pictured.
Musically, I love how the producer choosed to leave out the past and forge a new legend. "Today is the Time for Goodbye" and "Give Me Wings" will clearly be this generation' favorite.
Otaku-ally, what the hell happened with Kaworu Nagisa? He seems to know Shinji (from Evangelion 1.0) And the red stripe on the moon (Rei' blood from The End of Evangelion)? And the red sea (the original Evangelion' sea color is blue)? And two S2 engines on Unit 01? Does it mean no more Unit 00? And two more Angels? Arrgh they've skipped my favorite: Iruel. I just like it when they show the true nature of the MAGI. Next I just hope I can see Arael (but Kaworu has the Lance of Longinus...aaarggh).
One last thing, strange... but I feel this NERV side-character-with-glasses guy is cute **blushing** (perhaps because now they shot it in HD hahaha...). I took some liberty of Japanese manga freedom, you can go shounen-ai, you can go shoujo-ai but it is still normal =P. But hey...for me he is more "interesting" than most people' favorite: Ryoji Kaji =).
Am I otaku? Sigh... let's just say I have in depth knowledge in some anime, manga (and hentai) story particularly the ones with gore, violence, mystic and mecha themes, and consequently I really say no no to the ones with moe moe theme (including moe-hentai..yuks!). Up until now I can communicate and joke well to fellow otaku, although I do not share common interest in geeky look. And I always think gothic-loli as very cool, kawai and sexy! My favorite in every cozplay (step aside all you Clouds, Yunas, Sakuras, etc)!
Until now, for some time I find it is difficult to communicate to generation after me about how amazing Evangelion is. I mean the series is AMAZING, almost on par with legendary Doraemon. I still remembered when I was young (junior high) how the series messed up with my notion about Angels (Angels are bad..bad..bad), and also the series left me desperate with such an unclear ending (the original Evangelion). And then came The End of Evangelion when I was in early years of high school. Still remember the original disc came in mini disc since it contains only two episodes.
The original series comes with amazing music composition (Cruel Angel's Thesis and Komm Susser Todd), and I like how they play with Judaism theme (only Japan can do this!). On top of it is the story which is strongly interwoven, unusual, but personally I can relate to it. For me the story is about loneliness. How it is extremely difficult to find someone that understand one completely. How we all want to be loved and had some attention. But every time we open ourselves or try to show affection to others we end up being hurt. Strange story for a mecha anime. But very true indeed.
When I watched Evangelion 2.0, I felt the gloomy atmosphere was slightly lifted. I was shocked and delighted at the same time watching Shinji smiled when he met his two friends. It seems suddenly Evangelion turned out to be more cheerful, and relationship is clearly pictured.
Musically, I love how the producer choosed to leave out the past and forge a new legend. "Today is the Time for Goodbye" and "Give Me Wings" will clearly be this generation' favorite.
Otaku-ally, what the hell happened with Kaworu Nagisa? He seems to know Shinji (from Evangelion 1.0) And the red stripe on the moon (Rei' blood from The End of Evangelion)? And the red sea (the original Evangelion' sea color is blue)? And two S2 engines on Unit 01? Does it mean no more Unit 00? And two more Angels? Arrgh they've skipped my favorite: Iruel. I just like it when they show the true nature of the MAGI. Next I just hope I can see Arael (but Kaworu has the Lance of Longinus...aaarggh).
One last thing, strange... but I feel this NERV side-character-with-glasses guy is cute **blushing** (perhaps because now they shot it in HD hahaha...). I took some liberty of Japanese manga freedom, you can go shounen-ai, you can go shoujo-ai but it is still normal =P. But hey...for me he is more "interesting" than most people' favorite: Ryoji Kaji =).
Hidup menjadi lebih lengkap, apabila kita memiliki tempat untuk saling berbagi dan belajar
Status | Arisat Fajar Hariputra | 28 Jul 2010 16:56
Welcome to the land of the dragon
Yang jelas akan banyak sekali tantangan bagi orang baru. Menghadapi lingkungan baru yang benar-benar membutuhkan penyesuaian. Belum lagi belajar bahasa. Belum lagi belajar buat riset. Sungguh butuh energi yang sangat besar.
Sekali lagi selamat datang di negeri para naga.
Maybe You’re Gone
Blog | Agust Andy Pranoto | 27 Jul 2010 22:14
You have been waiting all your life
You use your patience to stay fine
Time moves on as you prepare
to tell yourself be reasonable
Then come the times you can’t foresee
you cannot leave, you can’t release
to keep you far from those dreams
Ignoring the right times
Oh, waiting was my lifeFor now it’s too late
for you may not wait
and things that I have yet to know
vanish before they’re complete
I may turn around
to see if you’re still there
but as for now, it’s just not safe
Maybe you’ll wait for me
Maybe you’re goneYou’ve been preparing all your life
You’ve had some trouble getting it right
And you try to tell yourself it may work, as it should
But something good can do much harm
The good may kill for your embrace
to keep you far from those dreams
you know you cannot dream
I’m stuck for now, it seems.
Filed under: Daily Life, Lirik, Song of the Day Tagged: Sondre Lerche, Two Ways Monologue
kangen mie goyang lidah ala Pak No, Malang. bener2 ga ada 2 nya itu masakan dah ah.. buka cabang di Jakarta aja apa?
Status | Pangestu Widodo | 27 Jul 2010 18:18
we must not dwell on what was and what will but what is, the time yesterday is certainly won’t be back and the time that is here may not be tomorrow, so why are you hesitating?
Status | Barlianta Prawiranegara | 27 Jul 2010 16:30
be good and good things will come to u … but if that moment has not come, i just can say, better luck next time :P
Status | Radix Enggarmanah | 26 Jul 2010 22:57
andai insan tau keutamaan ramadhan… pasti kan berharap semua bulan adalah ramadhan…
Status | Andik Taufiq | 26 Jul 2010 21:44
The Whole Meaning
Plagiarise : to steal and pass off (the ideas or words of another) as one’s own : use (another’s production) without crediting the source
(Merriam Webster dictionary)
5th HIV Test
Blog | Kardy Chiu | 25 Jul 2010 23:21
Last Saturday morning I woke up, and started to think "What should I do?". And suddenly afterwards the answer came into mind "Go for HIV test!" Ah yes, i had planned quite some time for the test.
Why?
First because the last time I had free-fall sex was 4-5 months ago, which is already over the window period for HIV.
Second, if i count correctly, I haven't taken any HIV test in the last 1.5 years, which in that time period, I have had unprotected sex with 4 different partners (4 is the number of partners not the number of sex), more within term of protected sex however I never use condom for oral. So guess the risk factor.
Third, because I got this promotion coupon for free anonymous HIV testing offered by Action for AIDS Singapore. Anonymous is good because in back in Indonesia you can't have that kind of testing, and having HIV test attached to your MR (Medical Record) will surely get you into trouble. I already had that kind of experience. Learning from the experience I have designated one not-so-popular hospital only for the purpose of HIV testing.
Fourth, i think this is the time where i have to plan what to do next, and HIV status should come into consideration.
I never feel proud for taking the test, moreover I always feel disgusted and frightened with myself. I know for sure that I will not be able to stop this promiscuous activity unless something really bad happened. I love it and hate myself afterwards. Again I already had experience to back this argument up, however I will try to tell the experience on separate occassions (not to mention I really really not feeling proud for it).
My first HIV test was in Bandung, at B Hospital which I personally requested for it (for a very good reason). This was an "uncomfortable" experience: the doctor and nurses were not supportive at all. I even heard them saying "Kids nowadays...". 2nd and 3rd was in Jakarta. 4th for student pass purpose, and yesterday was the 5th.
And I have to give thumb up for AFA! It was a comfortable experience. The receptionist was an AngMoh (Caucasian) lady, who greeted directly: "Here for HIV test?" which indeed was very helpful rather than asking the patient to come forward. I also noticed that they only take cash as payment which is very good in terms of "anonymous" testing.
My pre-test councellor was an AngMoh guy (who I suspect is the receptionist lady's husband). The counselling session was brief (since I am not a first timer), very pleasant and not judgemental:
Me: "...and I never use condom for oral sex."
Councellor: "Yeah I think most people don't. Unless you go to Geylang, and women there will make you use condom for oral sex."
I like that guy!
Sat while waiting for the result to come out, I couldn't help but thinking: "Yup, I have done it again. Stooopid Kardy.. when will you learn your lesson and never again put yourself in this difficult situation?"
And the dreadful "what if..." started to come and play along. Well, it would surely be a life altering situation. I never want to live up to 70 years for a starter. I wanna die at 50. I don't want kids, and I also don't want a marriage. I even can't stand a relationship.
Things have changed, I believe now I have friends that I can count on. The number is less than fingers in one hand, but for me it is enough.
If the "what if..." should come true, i think i would just take a deep breath, went home and started to learn canoeing next week. Surely the job seeking thing could wait.
For the surprise, the "what if..." seemed to be partially true. While my result was negative, the result of the people whose number was one preceeding me seemed to be "not good". The councellor spent a lot of time during the post-test session. He even called the receptionist lady and introduced her as a pyscholog and asked for her recommendation. He handed over my result to other person because he didn't want me to wait for too long.
At the end of the day, the "what if..." was still hanging around.
"What if the result was mixed out? I mean we were only one number separated."
"What if the test was not sensitive enough, since it was a rapid test?"
However i think i have to live with it. I never expect a sinner to walk freely, and so do with myself. It is like a curse but also a consequence of my acts.
And even if I can escape the unfortunate this time, how long will I be able to do it again and again in the future?
Why?
First because the last time I had free-fall sex was 4-5 months ago, which is already over the window period for HIV.
Second, if i count correctly, I haven't taken any HIV test in the last 1.5 years, which in that time period, I have had unprotected sex with 4 different partners (4 is the number of partners not the number of sex), more within term of protected sex however I never use condom for oral. So guess the risk factor.
Third, because I got this promotion coupon for free anonymous HIV testing offered by Action for AIDS Singapore. Anonymous is good because in back in Indonesia you can't have that kind of testing, and having HIV test attached to your MR (Medical Record) will surely get you into trouble. I already had that kind of experience. Learning from the experience I have designated one not-so-popular hospital only for the purpose of HIV testing.
Fourth, i think this is the time where i have to plan what to do next, and HIV status should come into consideration.
I never feel proud for taking the test, moreover I always feel disgusted and frightened with myself. I know for sure that I will not be able to stop this promiscuous activity unless something really bad happened. I love it and hate myself afterwards. Again I already had experience to back this argument up, however I will try to tell the experience on separate occassions (not to mention I really really not feeling proud for it).
My first HIV test was in Bandung, at B Hospital which I personally requested for it (for a very good reason). This was an "uncomfortable" experience: the doctor and nurses were not supportive at all. I even heard them saying "Kids nowadays...". 2nd and 3rd was in Jakarta. 4th for student pass purpose, and yesterday was the 5th.
And I have to give thumb up for AFA! It was a comfortable experience. The receptionist was an AngMoh (Caucasian) lady, who greeted directly: "Here for HIV test?" which indeed was very helpful rather than asking the patient to come forward. I also noticed that they only take cash as payment which is very good in terms of "anonymous" testing.
My pre-test councellor was an AngMoh guy (who I suspect is the receptionist lady's husband). The counselling session was brief (since I am not a first timer), very pleasant and not judgemental:
Me: "...and I never use condom for oral sex."
Councellor: "Yeah I think most people don't. Unless you go to Geylang, and women there will make you use condom for oral sex."
I like that guy!
Sat while waiting for the result to come out, I couldn't help but thinking: "Yup, I have done it again. Stooopid Kardy.. when will you learn your lesson and never again put yourself in this difficult situation?"
And the dreadful "what if..." started to come and play along. Well, it would surely be a life altering situation. I never want to live up to 70 years for a starter. I wanna die at 50. I don't want kids, and I also don't want a marriage. I even can't stand a relationship.
Things have changed, I believe now I have friends that I can count on. The number is less than fingers in one hand, but for me it is enough.
If the "what if..." should come true, i think i would just take a deep breath, went home and started to learn canoeing next week. Surely the job seeking thing could wait.
For the surprise, the "what if..." seemed to be partially true. While my result was negative, the result of the people whose number was one preceeding me seemed to be "not good". The councellor spent a lot of time during the post-test session. He even called the receptionist lady and introduced her as a pyscholog and asked for her recommendation. He handed over my result to other person because he didn't want me to wait for too long.
At the end of the day, the "what if..." was still hanging around.
"What if the result was mixed out? I mean we were only one number separated."
"What if the test was not sensitive enough, since it was a rapid test?"
However i think i have to live with it. I never expect a sinner to walk freely, and so do with myself. It is like a curse but also a consequence of my acts.
And even if I can escape the unfortunate this time, how long will I be able to do it again and again in the future?
Toyor = [v] memukul (dng tangan dsb); menggocoh; Menggocoh = meninju keras-keras: ia ~ muka lawannya (KBBI)
Status | Nova Kurniawan | 23 Jul 2010 18:49
Good …tiap hri jumat virus batik menjalar pelan2 k expatriat di kantor,bangga bisa jadi salah satu "carrier."
Status | Gede Serikastawan | 23 Jul 2010 16:47
Porno(grafi) Pada Tempatnya
Blog | Kardy Chiu | 22 Jul 2010 23:32
Sejujurnya Indonesia semakin lama semakin asyik, tapi entah kenapa ada aja orang2 yang sirik termasuk pemerintah yang norak.
Video mesum tersebar, lalu terjadi pemerkosaan, lalu yang disalahkan si pemain dan pembuat video mesum. Logika darimana? Yang salah ya si pemerkosa donk! Anehnya seakan-akan masyarakat asyik masyuk ikut menuding si pembuat video mesum, termasuk pengacara terkemuka. Aduhai lah bo...otak buang ke sungai aja!
Sebagai penggemar & pecandu & penikmat & pengamat & pengagum pornografi, pornoaksi dan teman-temannya koq rasanya ini adalah sesuatu yang luar biasa konyol.
Begini: ada anak yang nonton film Superman, lalu sang anak dengan luar biasa gobloknya mencoba terbang dari lantai belasan sebuah apartemen. Jatuh bebas ke bawah dengan kecepatan sqrt(2gh), momentum ketika menabrak lantai bisa dihitung dengan m x v, yang mana intinya: penyok. Salahkah film Superman? Bagaimana agar hal ini bisa tidak terjadi?
Kuncinya cuma satu: PENDIDIKAN. Kalau sang anak mengerti fisika dasar dan konsep gravitasi hal ini tidak akan terjadi!
Demikian juga halnya dengan ekses negatif dari pornografi! Pornografi adalah film Superman, dan pemerkosaan adalah perbuatan goblok sang anak yang ingin terbang. Boleh dan bisa terbang, tapi pakai pesawat! Demikian juga dengan analogi pornografi, boleh berhubungan seks tapi dengan pihak yang saling memberikan konsensus.
Sebenarnya menurut gw pribadi, hebohnya penyebaran video mesum baru2 ini adalah kesempatan berharga untuk membuka mata semua orang bahwa ini adalah hal yang tidak bisa dicegah! Dengan ukuran kamera yang semakin mini dan portabel dan kemudahan akses data dan informasi di mana2 membuat lingkup privasi memang semakin menciut. Alangkah malangnya Indonesia punya menk*minf* seperti sekarang ini, dari awal melihat profilnya saja sudah mengelus-elus dada.
Apanya yang mau difilter dan diberantas?!?! Ok lah pasang filter nama-nama website, tapi bagaimana bisa memfilter penyebaran melalui internet data storage (rapidshare dkk), P2P network (eMule, limewire, dkk), chat room, dan forum? Silahkan dicoba sampai laut kering.
Lebih baik uangnya untuk menyadarkan masyarakat. Please jangan norak terhadap pornografi, toh usaha ini ada uangnya juga. Warnet hidup, pedagang VCD Glodok hidup, pabrik DVD jalan (sering rusak playernya juga kan), prostitusi marak (alangkah baiknya kalau sektor ini dimasukkan ke dalam penerimaan pajak). Dan siapa tahu bisa mimpi jadi produsen di kemudian hari, seperti Jepang yang (katanya) nomor satu di dunia.
Pendidikan seks pun harus digeser. Pengalaman gw di Indonesia, yang namanya sekolahan itu selalu ketinggalan dengan muridnya. Pas SD pake acara malu2...belum mau diterangkan, baru SMP mulai diterangkan apa itu menstruasi, mimpi basah, dan boro2 diterangkan apa itu onani.
Ya bo ketinggalan lah... wong jaman sekarang anak SD aja udah tau apa itu kelamin dan SMP sudah petting dan coitus.
Dan yang paling penting adalah alasan kenapa boleh dan tidak boleh. Ini yang seringkali para orangtua bodoh dalam mengemukakan argumennya.
"Ooh ga boleh sama Tuhan..."
Bodohnya......
Masih ingat pengalaman gw waktu kecil:
"Mi, rasanya ga masuk akal deh kalo anak itu dari Tuhan, maksutnya dari mana Tuhan tau mami dan papi sudah menikah? Pasti ada sesuatu yang membuat Tuhan tau selain dari pernikahan."
"Huss..nanti kamu sudah gede juga tau sendiri."
Yang mana maaf seribu maaf, kelas 2 SD gw juga sudah tahu sebab asal muasal anak dari baca2 majalah AyahBunda waktu itu :). Oooh begitu toh...
Moral rusak? Rasanya moral paling rusak di Indonesia itu adalah kebiasaan korupsi, dan malas: yang maunya kerja sedikit dapat uang banyak. Dan ini tidak ada kaitannya dengan pornografi.
Jadi tolong, kalau yang salah adalah sistem pendidikan kita yang lemah. Jangan hal ini dilemparkan kepada pornografi hanya serta merta karena inilah jalan yang termudah. Demikian juga halnya dengan agama. Kalau pendidikan agama kita kuat, ada pornografi pun tidak bakal laku, walaupun ditaruh di depan mata.
Sadarkan masyarakat bahwa pornografi adalah fantasi seperti layaknya film Superman, dan bukan realita. Bolehlah kita melihat Rocco Siffredi meng-anal wanita di Rocco's True Anal Stories 1-16 (belum lagi judul lainnya: Puppet Master, Reverse Gang Bang, Animal Trainer, dll), dan para wanitanya melenguh2 dalam kenikmatan. Tapi di realita kenyatannya lain! Silahkan coba meng-anal wanita biasa, pasti mendapat bonus "brownies kukus" dan jeritan!
Tapi di film bersih koq! Wanitanya keenakan lagi! Ini sebabnya mereka disebut profesional!
Poin ini (fantasi dan realita) adalah daya tawar yang luar biasa menarik dari religi. Umumnya orang yang letih hidup dalam fantasi akan berpaling ke religi, karena inilah hal yang nyata. Bagaimana menerima kekurangan pasangan yang memang tidak bisa sempurna seperti di film (ukurannya kecil lah, giginya keluar lah, perutnya buncit lah, jerawatan lah, dll). Cara untuk menjalani hidup tidak akan bisa diajarkan dalam film yang berdurasi 2-3 jam.
Sayang seribu sayang religi kita juga bodoh dalam memanfaatkan kesempatan ini.
Video mesum tersebar, lalu terjadi pemerkosaan, lalu yang disalahkan si pemain dan pembuat video mesum. Logika darimana? Yang salah ya si pemerkosa donk! Anehnya seakan-akan masyarakat asyik masyuk ikut menuding si pembuat video mesum, termasuk pengacara terkemuka. Aduhai lah bo...otak buang ke sungai aja!
Sebagai penggemar & pecandu & penikmat & pengamat & pengagum pornografi, pornoaksi dan teman-temannya koq rasanya ini adalah sesuatu yang luar biasa konyol.
Begini: ada anak yang nonton film Superman, lalu sang anak dengan luar biasa gobloknya mencoba terbang dari lantai belasan sebuah apartemen. Jatuh bebas ke bawah dengan kecepatan sqrt(2gh), momentum ketika menabrak lantai bisa dihitung dengan m x v, yang mana intinya: penyok. Salahkah film Superman? Bagaimana agar hal ini bisa tidak terjadi?
Kuncinya cuma satu: PENDIDIKAN. Kalau sang anak mengerti fisika dasar dan konsep gravitasi hal ini tidak akan terjadi!
Demikian juga halnya dengan ekses negatif dari pornografi! Pornografi adalah film Superman, dan pemerkosaan adalah perbuatan goblok sang anak yang ingin terbang. Boleh dan bisa terbang, tapi pakai pesawat! Demikian juga dengan analogi pornografi, boleh berhubungan seks tapi dengan pihak yang saling memberikan konsensus.
Sebenarnya menurut gw pribadi, hebohnya penyebaran video mesum baru2 ini adalah kesempatan berharga untuk membuka mata semua orang bahwa ini adalah hal yang tidak bisa dicegah! Dengan ukuran kamera yang semakin mini dan portabel dan kemudahan akses data dan informasi di mana2 membuat lingkup privasi memang semakin menciut. Alangkah malangnya Indonesia punya menk*minf* seperti sekarang ini, dari awal melihat profilnya saja sudah mengelus-elus dada.
Apanya yang mau difilter dan diberantas?!?! Ok lah pasang filter nama-nama website, tapi bagaimana bisa memfilter penyebaran melalui internet data storage (rapidshare dkk), P2P network (eMule, limewire, dkk), chat room, dan forum? Silahkan dicoba sampai laut kering.
Lebih baik uangnya untuk menyadarkan masyarakat. Please jangan norak terhadap pornografi, toh usaha ini ada uangnya juga. Warnet hidup, pedagang VCD Glodok hidup, pabrik DVD jalan (sering rusak playernya juga kan), prostitusi marak (alangkah baiknya kalau sektor ini dimasukkan ke dalam penerimaan pajak). Dan siapa tahu bisa mimpi jadi produsen di kemudian hari, seperti Jepang yang (katanya) nomor satu di dunia.
Pendidikan seks pun harus digeser. Pengalaman gw di Indonesia, yang namanya sekolahan itu selalu ketinggalan dengan muridnya. Pas SD pake acara malu2...belum mau diterangkan, baru SMP mulai diterangkan apa itu menstruasi, mimpi basah, dan boro2 diterangkan apa itu onani.
Ya bo ketinggalan lah... wong jaman sekarang anak SD aja udah tau apa itu kelamin dan SMP sudah petting dan coitus.
Dan yang paling penting adalah alasan kenapa boleh dan tidak boleh. Ini yang seringkali para orangtua bodoh dalam mengemukakan argumennya.
"Ooh ga boleh sama Tuhan..."
Bodohnya......
Masih ingat pengalaman gw waktu kecil:
"Mi, rasanya ga masuk akal deh kalo anak itu dari Tuhan, maksutnya dari mana Tuhan tau mami dan papi sudah menikah? Pasti ada sesuatu yang membuat Tuhan tau selain dari pernikahan."
"Huss..nanti kamu sudah gede juga tau sendiri."
Yang mana maaf seribu maaf, kelas 2 SD gw juga sudah tahu sebab asal muasal anak dari baca2 majalah AyahBunda waktu itu :). Oooh begitu toh...
Moral rusak? Rasanya moral paling rusak di Indonesia itu adalah kebiasaan korupsi, dan malas: yang maunya kerja sedikit dapat uang banyak. Dan ini tidak ada kaitannya dengan pornografi.
Jadi tolong, kalau yang salah adalah sistem pendidikan kita yang lemah. Jangan hal ini dilemparkan kepada pornografi hanya serta merta karena inilah jalan yang termudah. Demikian juga halnya dengan agama. Kalau pendidikan agama kita kuat, ada pornografi pun tidak bakal laku, walaupun ditaruh di depan mata.
Sadarkan masyarakat bahwa pornografi adalah fantasi seperti layaknya film Superman, dan bukan realita. Bolehlah kita melihat Rocco Siffredi meng-anal wanita di Rocco's True Anal Stories 1-16 (belum lagi judul lainnya: Puppet Master, Reverse Gang Bang, Animal Trainer, dll), dan para wanitanya melenguh2 dalam kenikmatan. Tapi di realita kenyatannya lain! Silahkan coba meng-anal wanita biasa, pasti mendapat bonus "brownies kukus" dan jeritan!
Tapi di film bersih koq! Wanitanya keenakan lagi! Ini sebabnya mereka disebut profesional!
Poin ini (fantasi dan realita) adalah daya tawar yang luar biasa menarik dari religi. Umumnya orang yang letih hidup dalam fantasi akan berpaling ke religi, karena inilah hal yang nyata. Bagaimana menerima kekurangan pasangan yang memang tidak bisa sempurna seperti di film (ukurannya kecil lah, giginya keluar lah, perutnya buncit lah, jerawatan lah, dll). Cara untuk menjalani hidup tidak akan bisa diajarkan dalam film yang berdurasi 2-3 jam.
Sayang seribu sayang religi kita juga bodoh dalam memanfaatkan kesempatan ini.
Implementasi Savitzky-Golay untuk Amibroker
Blog | Abdul Halim | 21 Jul 2010 10:43
Salah satu kendala kalau kita membangun trading system dengan modern TA adalah banyaknya noice. Efek noice ini bisa membuat sinyal-sinyal BUY/SELL palsu. Di dunia Digital Signal Processing dikenal adanya smoothing atau pemulusan untuk mengurangi noice. Caranya bisa bermacam-macam. Salah satu algoritma smoothing yang terkenal adalah Savitzky-Golay.
Saya coba mengimplementasikan algoritma ini di Amibroker dalam bentuk plugin berdasarkan kode dari buku “Numerical Recipes in C: The Art of Scientific Computing“. Hasilnya silahkan lihat di attachment.
Cara pakai:
- Copy AmiSavgol.dll ke C:\Program Files\Amibroker\Plugins
- Copy MFI Smoothing.afll ke C:\Program Files\Amibroker\Formulas\
Custom. Ini adalah contoh pemakaian untuk memuluskan indicator MFI
- Drag & drop AFL tersebut ke chart Anda.
Anda bisa juga memakai pemulusan ini di AFL buatan sendiri. Cara memanggilnya adalah seperti ini:
SG_MULUS(Array, nl, nr, pOrder)
Keterangan
Return value: Array yang sudah dimuluskan
Parameter:
Array = Array masukan yang akan dimuluskan
nl = Number of point to left (banyaknya bar ke kiri), nilainya harus positif > 0
nr = Number of point to right (banyaknya bar ke kanan), nilai harus >= 0
pOrder = Polynomial order, biasanya bernilai 2 atau 4
MULUSKAN(Array, NL)
Keterangan:
Fungsi ini adalah versi sederhana dari SG_MULUS dengan parameter-parameter lain diberikan nilai statis, NR = 0 dan pOrder = 2.
Demo:
Download:
DISCLAIMER: Dengan menggunakan plugin ini, Anda berarti setuju untuk menanggung sendiri atas segala resiko yang akan terjadi.
Jadi mangaka aja kali ya
